Dear Westwood Family,
A few weeks ago, Pastor Molly, Ellen Evans Agee (our new Chair of Church Council), and I met to discuss our respective hopes and dreams for our church this year. Without hesitating, I told them that one of my hopes for this year is for our church to begin thinking more intentionally about hospitality. Or as I describe it in my welcome every Sunday, creating a culture where everyone feels like they belong. While there is probably some truth to the theme song from Cheers, going to a place where everyone knows your name can help create a culture of belonging, but it certainly can’t end there.
I will be the first to admit that I am not a hospitality expert! Gabrielle has taught (or at least tried to teach) me what “good” manners are for over half of my life now, and I am sure she would say that I still have much more to learn. Despite my inability to plan or host a party or follow etiquette rules, I am quite good at noticing when someone is drifting, looking to connect, but not quite sure how. I know how to spot those people because I was one of those people, and depending on the social situation I find myself in, I still am one of them. Our church has been blessed to experience solid and steady growth this past year, but the pastor in me is still haunted by the ghosts of those who drifted among us and have not come back. My prayer is that they have found their community and that we were not their last-ditch effort to try church.
Within the Church Council, we are creating a hospitality team responsible for helping us move toward becoming a place where all people feel they belong. However, the responsibility for fostering a culture of belonging does not rest solely with church leadership; everyone is involved in shaping our church’s culture. There are two questions we can ask ourselves as we begin to imagine how we could help create a culture of hospitality at Westwood UMC. The first question is: what do I need to feel at home and connected to our church community? When we feel safe and connected to a place and its people, we are more open and inviting. Put simply, it is easier to be welcoming when our needs are met. The second question is: what have you noticed that others need to feel at home and connected to our church community? This question invites you to pay attention to those who come to church a few times a month and to the drifters. Focusing our attention on the needs of others using language similar to what we are using for ourselves helps us cultivate compassion for them because we are now able to see ourselves in them.
To be sure, our church is a very nice church full of very nice people. However, in the pool of hospitality, niceness is at the shallow end. We all know how to perform niceness. Being hospitable and creating a culture of belonging are spiritual practices that invite us to be vulnerable to our needs and to the needs of others. I look forward to helping us bring this vision of hospitality to life.
Love and Solidarity,
Rev. Dr. Christopher Carter
