19 Jun After all, we are all little children inside.

Dear Westwood Church family,

While Pastor Molly is away with our youth, she invited me to write the pastoral note this week. Earlier I had made the list below at the behest of my adult children who have me writing each week for Storyworth. I’ve been given zany questions, but this one I love.

What is your best advice when it comes to raising children?

Lest you think this “best advice” is only for parents & grandparents of little children, try it on for size and see if any of these eight bits of advice apply to a relationship you might have right now with a dear friend or family member. After all, we adults are really little children inside, perhaps with longer bones and a bit more experience. I’d love to hear from you if you have any additions.

1. I may have learned this late in life, but “be firm and affectionate” is one of the top pieces of advice I can ever give a grown-up. As our granddaughter says, “My [second grade] teacher is stern but kind.” Take delight in your child and show it, AND set limits.

2. I was told this early in parenthood: “Love your partner above all.”

3. I am still learning this: “Every child and adult is tender inside. Protect that. Be honest, with care and respect. And also know that every human on earth is distinct. Honor that singularity of each child with dignity and encouragement, even as you’re trying to civilize them.”

4. It takes a village to raise a child. Don’t try to do this all on your own. You’ll need time away to remember who you are. Seek other parents from your own generation and from other generations.

5. Get therapy for yourself, and if you’re in a partnership, get couple’s therapy. Work hard to move beyond your own personality so that what’s good and beautiful in you can shine.

6. Know that you are loved. If possible, meditate daily to get that daily dose. Make church-going a habit. There’s always more to learn and love.

7. Help others outside of your immediate circle of family & friends.

8. Get exercise and have fun together!

What would you add?

In the meantime, breathe peace,
Diana
[email protected]